Prompted by by a recent comment on our blog and a visit to one of our reader’s blogs we wanted to own up to our readers and ourselves and admit that we both do have a smoking fetish to some degree. A small degree actually, but still… These days it is probably considered safer and more socially acceptable to admit you are sexually turned on by by bondage, dominance and submission than to admit that you are aroused by the sight of somebody smoking. Especially if you are a woman because in general it seems to be assumed that only men can have a smoking fetish.
Now, just to clarify a bit I want to state that neither Sophie or myself smoke because we have a fetish. We smoke because we like the sensation and taste of inhaling tobacco and the the effects of nicotine. But we have realised over the years that in some situations we can find the site of other people smoking sexy. Indeed we find it sexy in each other. Sophie has always been a bit more open about the fetish aspect of her attraction to smoking. I on the other hand have been a bit in denial. I once had a boyfriend who was a smoking fetishist. It didn’t bother me and I didn’t mind satisfying his desire to see me smoke in different ways but because his fetish was so singular and intense I never felt my own sexual attraction to smoking was in the same league. And it isn’t; but nevertheless it does exist, I can be quite deeply sexually aroused by various things connected with smoking. So I admit it too, smoking certainly, without doubt, is one of my fetishes.
Some people see fetishes as something intrinsically deviant or bad; we don’t. Visitors to our other blogs will know we are not shy about exploring and enjoying the various aspects of our sexuality. Anything can become hazardous to oneself and others if taken to extremes or if the element of consent is removed but in our opinion unless they cross those barriers all fetishes are keys to pleasure and self understanding.
The smoking fetish does have an element to it that must be a cause for some concern of course, and that is that smoking can endanger your health. Indeed some psychologists believe that is one of the factors that makes smoking a sexual turn on to some, the fact that to some degree those who smoke are putting their lives at risk; perhaps flirting with death, defying convention and authority.
Smoking fetishists come in all shapes and sizes. Some are turned on by a particular brand or style of cigarettes, some like to watch various styles of inhalation and exhalation. Some are quite passive and get their kicks watching their partner or other people smoking while others like their partner to be smoking while actually having sex.
My ex boyfriend was more on the passive side. Generally he got aroused watching me smoke before or after sex or at other times of the day when I was not conscious of him watching me. He didn’t like any form of affectation, he said that for him the most sexy smokers were those he called natural smokers; people who smoked because they liked to and didn’t really care what other people thought about it. He said he felt such people were subtly rebellious (a quality he liked) and that the fliting with death aspect was actually a sign of not being afraid to live (a sentiment I rather like).
For Sophie and myself I think the roots of our own smoking fetish lie in the old films and fashion magazines we used to look at, the artist and musician types we hang out with and yes a sense of rebellion and independence. We have spoken about it and have come up with all sorts of other psychological and asthetic reasons why we find smoking sexually attractive but examining these things too closely can become counter productive. There is something ephemeral, spiritual and just plain sexy about smoking and we don’t want to spoil the magic by examining it too closely.
There are many internet sites, forums and blogs dedicated to smoking as a fetish. We do not intend for this blog to go far in that direction. However there are less places where women can talk openly about having a smoking fetish and we are aware that some women in that category visit us here. We’d just like to say those women are very welcome here and be open about the fact that we are ourselves part of that community to some degree.
We do think that smoking can be sexy and we are not ashamed to admit it.